The new moon this December 11 brought forth a really dark time. Fitting, since new moons are absent of light. Nature! I wanted to talk for a moment about how hard it is to find your footing in the darkness...
but remember the light will come again. After every new moon there is a big, bright full one.
Here is a soundtrack for today's story.
New stories
One of my favorite things to do is come up with ideas for new stories. I can almost feel the heat rise up into my head and the excitment surge throughout. I've come to realise it's what I live for. But when my personal story changes, I retreat, withdraw, hide. I forget to ask the right questions like, "what's the ending look like?" "What are some of the places I need to go in order to get there?" And most importantly, I don't give myself enough time to just let things develop.
Well, the story has changed. It's a good thing after all, even though I've been freaking out for a while.
If you go back through old journals, blog posts, drawings, you will always find some core beliefs that you hold. The truth is, they are always there and you inherently know them, even when you don't think you do.
so when someone comes into your life and makes you question everything?!? Be patient. Look at the mess and be kind with yourself. Then take a gander at what you've said before. The next chapters might have to be re-written, but the end goal is always the same. The over all lesson you know must be learned, will be learned.
Because you got this. That's why you're here.
Taking my own advice
is weird.
I keep reading/hearing this from all the wise mouths out there. "You know what you need, child." So in this fumbly new moon, where I'm not sure what I'm doing anymore, I'm going back to the roots. It's pretty funny because I've been having the same conversation with myself since High School. I've grown so much since then but I've known deep things about myself- even without realising it.
When will I trust myself to know what I need? I guess it starts now. Step one: trust that even when you don't know, you do.
Peace out all,
Annie