New Sun

The Winter Solstice was last night. It's the end of the cycle, in a natural way, and now the beginning of a new "sun". The daylight hours will lengthen, we'll have more energy (at least in my case I will) and things will start growing. I've been using this time to think about what I want. With so many books out there to help you find you "purpose" it's hard to choose. I think lots of people have honest things to share, but we all know what's best for OURSELVES, so navigating these waters is tricky but it can be really fun. I've been realizing that listening is so important. Take in all that you hear from others AND yourself then experiment with it.

I have been making time each morning to explore my inner world and start looking at the new year as an opportunity to flourish with ease and joy. How can I do that? How can I not create new obligations for myself?

I'm trying to listen carefully. A few things really help me do this- journaling, tarot, reading, meditation, yoga. I think sharing is really important, and now a days we have ways that we can not just share, but start a conversation. With dialogue, it's a communial effort and we can learn from each other. I have SO MUCH to learn from the world and everyone around me. So why not practice together, I thought?

For the next couple weeks I'm jumping on periscope to start my day with a morning practice that can be shared with anyone who is willing to also go deeper. Day 3 was today, and although I'm nervous each time, I feel like it's been so beneficial to connect with myself and connect with outhers in tandem. I think when we do this, we are able to heal much faster, grow stronger, practice loving eachother and ourselves.

It sounds weird writing that. Why does it sound weird? These feelings are hard to express in words, I think, because they come out sounding like cheese on a log.

So here's an image:

If you want to join me, I'll be there every morning between 6 and 7am. @annieruygt.

"To pay attention, this is our endless and proper work." - Mary Oliver.

New moon

The new moon this December 11 brought forth a really dark time. Fitting, since new moons are absent of light. Nature! I wanted to talk for a moment about how hard it is to find your footing in the darkness...

but remember the light will come again. After every new moon there is a big, bright full one.

Here is a soundtrack for today's story.

New stories

One of my favorite things to do is come up with ideas for new stories. I can almost feel the heat rise up into my head and the excitment surge throughout. I've come to realise it's what I live for. But when my personal story changes, I retreat, withdraw, hide. I forget to ask the right questions like, "what's the ending look like?" "What are some of the places I need to go in order to get there?" And most importantly, I don't give myself enough time to just let things develop.

Well, the story has changed. It's a good thing after all, even though I've been freaking out for a while.

If you go back through old journals, blog posts, drawings, you will always find some core beliefs that you hold. The truth is, they are always there and you inherently know them, even when you don't think you do.

so when someone comes into your life and makes you question everything?!? Be patient. Look at the mess and be kind with yourself. Then take a gander at what you've said before. The next chapters might have to be re-written, but the end goal is always the same. The over all lesson you know must be learned, will be learned.

Because you got this. That's why you're here.

Taking my own advice

is weird.

I keep reading/hearing this from all the wise mouths out there. "You know what you need, child." So in this fumbly new moon, where I'm not sure what I'm doing anymore, I'm going back to the roots. It's pretty funny because I've been having the same conversation with myself since High School. I've grown so much since then but I've known deep things about myself- even without realising it.

When will I trust myself to know what I need? I guess it starts now. Step one: trust that even when you don't know, you do.

Peace out all,

Annie

Painting a picture.

I saw Hanson in concert (yes, Hanson) last weekend in Portland. The trees were perfectly scarlett and pumpkin colored, and Portland's sky was heavy with rain. The entire trip was perfect and a wonderful break from the usual California scenery I'd come to see every day.

I love California, but once in a while you need to see....comething else.

Hanson was really special. 11-year-old Annie came out and danced around with 29-year-old Annie. I was silly. I made new friends and remembered something that I'd forgotten about.

How does one paint a picture?

You work on it a bit at a time. Sometimes making mistakes one day, sometimes kicking ass the other. One step might be to mix a color and not paint at all. The next step might be to paint over a part that wasn't quite what you wanted.

I looked up at the Hanson bros as they were leading their pre-show walk; a ritual of walking in your bare feet for one mile amongst Hanson fans and friends, in order to connect with the earth and each other. For each person that walks, Hanson donates a dollar to a person in need, living in a country where the average daily wage is $1. It's simple yet effective. Three brothers created something that doesn't seem like much but helps a lot. They show up before every show and walk whether bodies join them or not.

They're painting a larger picture. Their picture has more than MmmBop. It has walks and 5 different albums. It has a love for old rock and roll, family, kids, community, and helping people because.... well because we all have enough. We all can afford to share.

Their music is a part of it, too. They share stories and emotions. They connect with people as well as connect people with other people. A web of hearts!

What's your picture? Can you look at each day and see how you're adding to it, bit by bit? What will you do to make it as beautiful and rich and vibrant as you can? It doesn't have to be perfect. Some days you will mess up. The most important part is that you show up, paintbrush in your hand. Ready.

After all is said and done....

It was worth it.  The whole "making a book thing"... yeah I'd do it all over again. :)

With wonderful friends at the O.C. Kid's Book Fair, October 4th, 2015

I've gone as an attendee to the Orange County Kid's Book Fest for several years, but this year I was an author/illustrator. It was exciting, exhilerating, touching, and although it was a lot of work preparing for it, it didn't feel like work. Must be on to something here....

I shared a booth with the lovely Toymaker- Mrs. Marilyn Scott-Waters!  www.thetoymaker.com

Since it's #Inktober, my instagram account has been littered with drawings like these:

More to come.

Oh and the book is available online! Just head over to the shop if you want to pick one up.

Still working on the last pieces for the kickstarter folks. They get some extra swag and have to wait for their books, but I think it'll be worth it. The swag is starting to look legiiit.

Lots of love,

Annie

Creating an environment for yourself- one that you WANT.

So....I'm going to create an environment for myself. One that looks like this.

I don't necessarily mean a physical one, although I might incorporate some of those lovely light strands into my decor, I mean an internal one. I want space, connection with the outside word AND the inside world.

It's a great time of year to push the good ole reset button. In order to do this, I'm going to try and few things:

I'm going to refuse text messages.

Yes, I said that, folks. I'm going to take a break from texting.

I'm going to call people when I want to talk to them.

I haven't talked to so many "close" friends and family, because I resort to text messages. Enough of this and thanks, Hannah from more love letters. I don't want to be Socality Barbie.

I'm going to choose some other activity over web surfing.

I have "The Wake" by Paul Kingsnorth on my bookshelf and it's whining to be read.

If I order out food, I will make a date with a friend.

The goal here is to either prepare my own food, or enjoy company, and get away from the isolation and convenience of take out.

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It's an experiment. A chance to implement some new habits and dig around for old patterns in hopes of identifying what's holding me back from being creative and connected. And it's also a chance to see if I'm full of bullshit. ;)

Want to try? We can have a discussion via email. Contact me and let me know how it's going!