Extending a hand

Switching from scared to open. Been focusing too much on scaling, getting "out there", making more money. Asking all the wrong questions. It's not working for me.

Going to ask different questions...

Instead, how can I use my abilities to help others?

Instead, how can I make people smile?

Instead, how can I bring in more joy?

Instead, how can I not worry about material items, and enjoy every thing in my environment NOW.

Lots of love, Annie

Annie is an author and illustrator with books available on Amazon and local book stores. She is open for commission, too! She lives in California, and loves tea, bike rides, reading, and exploring new places.

I'm a mother fucking woman, damnit!

It's been a long and whirly month, with lots of insights and pleanty of pitfalls. But today is March 1st and it's the start of women's history month. I am reminded so hard by my dear friends that being a woman is a gift, and a contant process of unfolding.

I think so many of us (women and men) are conditioned to think that depression is bad, that our bodies defy us, that we have to always be ON, and that our looks need to be aces, too. Otherwise, who would want us? ...we say to ourselves. Who will love us? ...we wonder....

My lovely photographer friend, Brianna Shrader, wrote an article about the concept of doing something "like a girl" and how that's seen as a bad thing. Why does it have to mean weak, or less than, or floppy? I think today's society is changing that to mean strong, and capable, and loving, but I know that old programming is so ingrained into my own hard drive that I forget how I am holding myself back. And I hold myself back all the time!

Another friend, a kick ass tarot reader, Carrie Mallon, wrote a post about her personal road map to finding "home" where you feel strong, at peace, and connected to yourself. She explains how she must forge through "deserts of depression", swim in "seas of self doubt", tirelessly searching for home, and then finding that peace come for a minute, then she's lost again.

I love both of these woman because they have taught me both sides of the spectrum, and being strong means loving all parts of you.

Give Yourself and others Permission to BE WHERE YOU ARE.

Life is happening right now, and you can either enjoy it, or wish it was different. So enjoy it. Let it be what it is. Look for the flowers in that desert, and surf the seas of self doubt with a silly dance. It's your time, it's your journey, and the gifts you bring back from these experiences will give life to others as you share it. You're a rockstar.

Roadmap art by Carrie Mallon http://carriemallon.com

You are a creator, and this is YOUR STORY, DAMNIT.

If you want to do something, ain't nobody gonna hold you back but you. This includes making art, writing a book, getting strong muscles, trying out a new sport, asking out someone you have the hots for. Yaaassssssss, you can do it! Brianna is a cheerleader to the max, and she taught me to be my own cheerleader, too. Funny thing is, when you start cheering on yourself, you can't help but want to cheer on others!

Work it.

You must love and understand both parts of you. Have that conversation with yourself though tarot cards, art making, or with a friend, in order to understand where you need to balance yourself in order to grow.

Because it's all about growin', folks. We are on this planet with all these plants and animals, growin' in tandem and it so. damn. cool.

Last note: I'm doing a Year of Making for myself, where I'll make somthing new everyday. It might be a painting, and little sculpture, and stamp, whatever. It's an internal exercise since I've gotten real weird about making personal work. Like real weird y'all. Wanna join? Join my newsletter and I'll be sending out little tidbits and sending encouragement.

LOVE YOU!

Check out Brianna and Carrie on Instagram

@carriemallon @briannacaster

Annie is an author and illustrator with books available on Amazon and local book stores. She is open for commission, too! She lives in California, and loves tea, bike rides, reading, and exploring new places.

Zero Waste- how can I do that?

I was talking with some pals last night and we mulled over an idea for reducing waste at the grocery store. I've been interested in reducing waste for a little while (buying blulk, using beeswax to wrap items rather than plastic bags), but I know there is so much more I can do. Buying bulk makes a big difference, however, and I'm looking into making my own beauty products, my own snack bars, making my own chocolates.

I came across this video about a gal who has basically reduced all her waste to one jar...one jar from the last 2 years of trash!! She composts everything else, or uses reusable items that she can wash.

I think it's all about baby steps and making a commitment to the effort every day, even if it's small. Today I will start by trying to think differently about my storage stiuations and what I can improve, as well as focus on eating all my leftovers.

I do wonder- is toilet paper waste? Can I ever get away form using toilet paper? Don't know if I want to....

What do you do to minimize your waste trail? I'd love to hear your creative solutions, because we truly learn by sharing and experimenting.

Also- urban food foraging?! This is something I'm diving into next!

-Annie

Annie is an author and illustrator with books available on Amazon and local book stores. She is open for commission, too! She lives in California, and loves tea, bike rides, reading, and exploring new places.

Welcome, Dreamwalker

The most suprising thing I've done is write an entire novel. I grew up writing consistenly in my journal about feelings, sometimes short stories, sometimes rotten things about neighbors. But I also grew up thinking I was a shit writer, until I realized that it doesn't matter what people say. And practice can also fill most of the holes you have in your skills anyway.

But I'm notorious for bad spelling. And that will always be a struggle.

One night I was walking home from the Library in Sunnyvale and I thought I'd play a bit. I started telling myself a story amidst the moonlight and frangrant honeysuckle bushes as I strolled through the neighborhood. I walked slower. I tuned in. I became something else.

Dreamwalker is the story that was birthed that night, and has been a part of my path for the last couple years. I've worked with an amazing writing group and two editors. It's out there, finding the last few people who can help me share it in a large way with all of you. Soon.

Some concept artwork from the book:

Annie is an author and illustrator with books available on Amazon and local book stores. She is open for commission, too! She lives in California, and loves tea, bike rides, reading, and exploring new places.

When pleasure is work, but work isn't pleasure.

"In a world of start-ups and side-hustles, have the blurred lines of work-life balance changed the meaning of leisure time? As WeWork offices replace Midtown New York's historic Lord & Taylor department store, The New York Times examines how work has replaced personal pleasure in the pursuit of escapism: "With the rise of the internet, shopping came to look like work, and work, in many instances, came to look like leisure..." - From The WWClub.com

When reading this yesterday on http://thewwclub.com, I was struck with a deep sense of sadness. Yes- this is what I've been feeling- the discomfort and disappointment of making your passion a career, and loosing the places where you used to escape and find refuge. For so many years of my life, artmaking was where I did found comfort. I'd sit and draw in my sketchbook at the beach or at the park. I giggled at the characters that appeared on the page: new friends.

But that changed when I got a full time job as an illustrator.

I started going to yoga class a few years into it because it was the only place I could walk into where I didn't have to do anything except "be". I was a full time illustrator , working for a startup in the Sillycon Valley, stressed out of my mind. I felt myself wanting to scream some days, quit other days, but it was a great opportunity.

Since freelancing in 2017, I've eased off on my yoga practice and focused the majority of my energy and finances on building a business around my immense love of art and illustration. But this has made it worse. Now there's no stability in a paycheck. The urge to run away is REAL.

I can relate all to0 well with Rebecca Green's post about burnout
I asked some friends on Twitter about burnout. What do you do to remedy this thing? They responded with suggestions like, extra self care, Netflix, and not doing the thing that burned you out.

One might find self care difficult when you start mixing pleasure and work, and it because this confusing ball of who-knows-what. I'm taking that ball and making it sacred again. But it takes some serious separation and time management.

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How have you taken steps to gain back our lust for life? I'd love to know, and I'm sure the more we share, the more we can tap into what will heal us forward.

Annie is an author and illustrator with books available on Amazon and local book stores. She is open for commission, too! She lives in California, and loves tea, bike rides, reading, and exploring new places.